Yukmouth robbing with a happy ending

Last week our lil homie Yukmouth supposedly was in a grocery store incident you may have heard about. Oh word? Well, you can erease that part, or you gonna run out the whole tape *laughs*
*still laughs*

Let’s tell the real side of the story.


THE BEGINNING OF YUK
You see, this is not a game to us. Yuk was one of our investments back in the day when we started making moves out west. The kid showed promise on the streets, rapping about this and that, stunning crowds with the gold teeth and shiny bracelets we provided him with. He was only 10 at the time and mostly ran errands and delivered messages, but also he would appear on westcoast radio to kick prodigal rhymes now and then. As young as he was, he was a fucking sureshot.
We penned him a hit song, Ain't Nothin 2 A Bo$$, and backed him financially for a video. Brought some fly ass freaks to the set, put some money in his pocket and let him raid a small jewelry shop we were doing business with. It turned out spectacular, one of the best videos of the new millenium. Check it for yourself, to this day it's STILL all over the fucking youtube because there's a message involved.

THE DECLINE OF LIL BOY YUK
So basically, we paved the way for lil Yuk Shine (his kid alias) but he couldn't comprehend things right. From day one we used to tell him: the guys that fly straight are the guys that make it in this business! And he just wouldn’t hear it. Soon the moves behind our backs came, with him going the Luniz route, associating with the blue and white, and worst of all he took over the crackshop at 110th like we specifically told him not to. That's moving in on Suge Knight's territory. So while we were away doing this takeover thing out in NY, leaving Yuk unprotected (pause) in Cali, kingpin Suge found the rapper and threatened him.

THE GROCERY STORE INCIDENT
NOW, for the incident last week, let’s stick to the FACTS.
We had to leave town again for a few days, because we had a big speech at Princeton, lecturing students about how to be successful. So we called up Yuk and told him to go to the grocery store and pick up some things for the party when we get back. Suge must have got word of it, and started plotting an assault on Yukmouth once and for all. He and some ride or die Death Row goons hid behind the ice cream section because they KNEW the motherfucker had a sweet tooth. And sure enough Lil Yuk came walking with his basket and they trapped him and surrounded him as he was reaching for a ice cream cone. Suge grabbed ahold of him by the collar and pushed him up against the wall, causing Yuk to pass out and it was over with. They commenced to pick jewelry and other valuable items from his person (estimated to a total value of $92,1 K).

BREAKING NEWS:
It's been resolved. We took care of the situation before it got really out of hand. Basically we invited them both to our office and smacked them around for a bit. We told them to better make peace. Yuk obeyed immediately, but Suge needed some more talking to before we all could come to an agreement and it's been cool after that. He even started babbling about starting up a Death Row 136 branch or something, but we said "chill". Anyway it's over with. Peace

Battered and bruised, and reunited